Billy Joel regrets career

BAYVILLE, N.Y. (AP) American Icon Billy Joel is hiding in Bayville, NY after realizing his entire catalog sucks. The alleged "singer/song writer" has donated all his assets to charity in an 11th hour bid to wash his hands of the whole affair. News of Mr. Joel's location came to light after a traffic accident he was involved in while delivering a Reuben pizza for Alice's restaurant. "Sorry about driving over those lawns and into those houses but you would not believe the pressure we are under to get these pies delivered. I'm just an innocent man trying to make a buck and put his life back together."

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