Pizza? anyone?

A funny review of what the world outside of Chicago and New York considers pizza. Below are a few choice quotes...

Worst pizza award...
"Japan is without a doubt the hive of unappetizing pizza choices. It is the yin to America's delicious pizza yang, the kryptonite to our deep dish Superman, and maybe even the salt to our delectable hand-tossed garden slug. Dear god. Tuna, mayonnaise, corn, mozzarella, and tomato sauce HAVE NO PLACE ON A PIZZA SIMULTANEOUSLY. It was all I could do not to throw up."

Kosher style...
"What I am about to say is so controversial, so racist and disgusting, that I fully expect to receive thousands of hate mails as well as a written threat from the JDL. Jews cannot make pizza. G-d bless them, they try pretty hard, and they do make things that look like pizza, but what they make is not pizza... Living in Chicago this was nothing short of a travesty. I have scraped better frozen pizza off the inside of a cadaver's intestine and that only cost whatever I paid for the taxi to the warehouse. While it is fun and relaxing to blame the Jews for everything, I have difficulty believing that they're really public enemy number one when it comes to pizza abortions."

California Style..
"Lastly, special shout-outs to the monsters perpetrating supposedly gourmet pizza on America's West Coast. You California Pizza Kitchen fucks wouldn't know good pizza if it lubed your prolapsed rectum with marinara and gave you a prison handshake. The next time you want to talk shit to NYC I'm letting you know that Chicago has got its back. That's right, I enjoy New York style pizza from time to time, but I never find myself craving some new age crystal Ben & Jerry Patchouli-smelling tofu and artichoke heart disc of shit. Go back to Berkeley and take your extra-large Birkenstock and hacky-sack flavored abomination with you."